Love Pilot # 9
by Joseph Greenlee
TaleSpin is property of Walt Disney Co.
The characters of Kit
Cloudkicker, Baloo, Rebecca Cunningham,
Molly Cunningham, Wildcat, Una, Plane Jane and others are
all property of Walt Disney Co. as well.
This is being written
without permission, and absolutely no
money will be made from it as
well, so for the love of everything
decent DON'T SUE ME!! All of my
characters, as well as this story, are
property of I, my *most*
glorious self, and is not to be used
without my permission. (If you
want it for your site, just ask...:)
Rated PG 13 for sexual innuendo, language, and overall fiendish goofiness.
“What’re you so jazzed about?
The Socks win again or somethin’?”
“Yeah, like I care about
baseball scores...” remarked Kit. “All
they do is stand around anyway...it’s so boring.”
“Hey, I’ll have you know it
takes a lot of skill...like piloting,” commented Baloo, as he chomped a bite
out of his club sandwich.
“Right,” said Kit rolling his
eyes without Baloo seeing. “But no Baloo, look!”
Kit folded the paper and shoved it
up so Baloo could see the caption:
“PSYCHIC FAIR TO BE HELD TODAY”
“Psychic??” said Baloo,
snorting. “Oh great, all I need is
more mumbo jumbo. Last time someone
told me my fortune I wound up...”
“Oh, c’mon Baloo, it sounds fun!” said Kit.
“Yeah, fun if you like wasting
your money away on useless scam artists.”
“Hmm.
You never had a problem with it before...”
“You’re a crackup
this mornin’, Kit, you know that?”
* * *
Meanwhile, on the other side of
town...
“Sergeant
Dunder!”
“Yes, my inspiring commander, sir?” said Dunder,
saluting.
“Make sure to take close
observations today, Thergeant! We
can’t let our guard down for a second... You can never tell what kind of
depra-a-aaved mind would plan to set their eyes on one of Thembria’s most
esteemed citizens! Especially since
the High Marshall threatened to dip me in hot tar if anything went wrong...”
Spigot said, concluding that last note with a whine.
“But doesn’t he always
threaten to tar you??”
“Yes, and my tail is still sore
from the last time!!!”
Dunder recoiled. “Yes, sir.”
“Now where is Iliana?”
“Getting her luggage, sir.”
“Unh!
Women!” said Spigot, rolling his eyes.
“But sir, I mean...doesn’t she
need a lot of stuff? Being so
important an’ all?”
“Are you implying that I am not
as important??”
“Well, no sir...I mean you’re
not a female sir...or a psychic that thousands of adoring Thembrians look up
to...” Spigot narrowed his eyes
and was about to charge at Dunder with his riding crop, when Dunder
redeemed himself.
“Of course people look up to
you, too, sir. Um...so to speak.”
Spigot stopped his riding crop midair.
“I know that!
And why do you think I was chosen to escort her in the first
place?”
“Lottery numbers?”
“Oh.
That was my second guess,” said Dunder reproachfully.
“But sir, why are only escorting Ms. Iliana?
The passenger list indicated two civilians...”
“Hmm, yes.
It’s a shame Thembria’s most famous radio host couldn’t make it as
well.”
“Maury Povovitchingpowder?”
“Yes.
Unfortunately he was just sentenced to two hundred years in a salt mine.
However! I’m still more
than confident this will go off well. I
mean...how hard can a simple speech and a festival be??”
“Well, the last time we were
here.—!"
“Shut up, Dunder! Get back inside and help the passenger!”
* * *
Becky looked over her papers in
dismay. Today was just not a good
day. Why did Baloo’s day off have
to be today? Molly ran past the open
front door with Wildcat chasing her from behind.
She glanced back to her work. Molly
ran past again in the other direction, Wildcat at her heels.
Sighing, she walked up and over
to the middle of the doorway. Glancing
outwards, she saw neither Molly nor Wildcat.
Then, in a sudden burst of laughter, Molly bolted towards her mother from
behind the corner of the building and making high pitched noises, stopped as her
mother held her up for inspection.
“What are you two doing?”
she said.
“Wildcat and I are playing
hamsters!”
“You are?!”
“Uh- huh!”
Wildcat peeked up from his hiding
place and wandered back over to the office area.
Rebecca was already talking to Molly by the time he had.
And that moth looked just like a wrench he had several years ago!!
After the moth flew off, Wildcat was no longer distracted and so made his
way over to them.
“Wildcat, I appreciate you
taking care of Molly today. I know
it’s your day off, and—!”
“Oh, no problem,
Miz Cunningham! I can look
for hamsters aaaany day of the week! Except
blue ones. I haven’t seen those
yet...” he admitted.
“O...kay.
Well, how about you take Molly somewhere, like the park.
I was going to, but I’m so bogged down.
But...” she said, anticipating Molly’s disappointment, “I’ve
already arranged plans so that next week we can go out for your class’s
field trip!”
“Really?”
“Uh huh...it’s already taken care of. We’ll have plenty of fun then, I promise,” she said with a hug.
*
*
*
“Baloo, what are you doing??”
“I’m not takin’ any
chances...” said Baloo, as he fished out his rabbit’s foot from the drawer
full of assorted materials. “No
hexes, no curses, no prophecies, no nothin’...” he said, shoving the thing
in his pocket.
“I thought you didn’t believe in that sort of
stuff.”
“I don’t.
Let’s get going.”
“So why are you so in a hurry
all of a sudden?”
“Didntcha see?
Look for yourself,” said Baloo before they got to the stairs. “Free
food, kiddo!” he said, shoving the paper in front of Kit’s face again.
“Oh...” said Kit, with lowered
eyelids and a slightly critical “I should have known” look.
The big pilot declared,
“Don’t even think
about anyone suckering me in today!”
Outside, Rebecca was giving
Wildcat instructions on looking after Molly.
The park was nearby, but still...this was Wildcat.
You couldn’t be too careful. He
got into more accidents than... Suddenly she saw Baloo and Kit.
“Baloo!”
“No.”
“No what?” she said
innocently.
“No I’m not gonna do it,
whatever it is. This is one day off
I’m gonna enjoy.”
“Why, I wouldn’t dream
of imposing.” she continued sweetly. “May
I ask where you’re headed, though?”
“Psychic fair,”
Kit told her.
She blinked. “Psychic fair??
They actually have one of those?”
“Ya coulda beat me over the head
with a waffle maker...” said Baloo.
TOO easy...thought Becky.
Be nice, she repeated to herself. Nice,
nice, nice, cordial, nice...
“I don’t suppose you’d let
Molly and Wildcat come along? They
were going to the park, but—“ she began, whispering in his ear as Molly
clambered over Wildcat some yards away, “I sort of promised her to take her
out for the day. And now I feel
guilty.”
Kit inwardly groaned.
It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy spending time with Molly or anything,
but...well, couldn’t everyone just have their space from time to time??
Baloo walked down the street, now
alongside Wildcat and Kit, and with Molly, who was riding on his shoulders.
“Kit, how did I...”
“Don’t look at me!” Kit interrupted.
“You’re the one who’s jinxed.”
“Funny.
Ha, ha...”
“What’s Kit talkin’
about?” asked Molly.
“Baloo thinks he has bad
luck...” Kit said, hiding a grin.
“Maybe you can wear a clover!
That’s what my teacher said brings luck.”
“Hey, Baloo...what was that
you were saying about not getting...”
“Shut up, kid,” Baloo said,
unamused.
* * *
The fair was being held in an area
with long venues along some of
“Hey, I wonder if they have any
bakeries around here,” Baloo said.
“I wonder why Rebecca didn’t
let us borrow her car,” Kit replied.
“Uh, let’s just say she and I
have differences right now...”
“You dented it?!”
“She told you!” Baloo accused.
“No, but I saw it... I just
figured she did it!” At
this, Kit burst into peals of laughter. Baloo
(now free of Molly’s weight on his shoulders) returned the laughter with a
look of bored misery.
Meanwhile, Wildcat and Molly had
entered the dirt paved festival area. A
series of acrobats juggled sticks across to one another.
“Wow, Wildcat!
Horses!” Molly gazed at the
animals staring at her from the pen. A
white, tall, sheep-like animal twitched its
ears and looked at her, surprised for a brief couple of seconds, then
resumed its chewing of leaves and grass.
“Oh gee, Molly.
Those aren’t horses...” said Wildcat.
“They’re...um...giant caterpillars?!”
He scratched his head.
“They are llamas, my friend,”
said an older, accented voice.
Molly and Wildcat turned towards
the table. The woman had a red shawl
around her head and was dressed in a shirt with baggy sleeves and a dark
ultramarine vest, completing the ensemble with gold hoop earrings.
“I am Una...” she said, stressing the syllables of the name. “Perhaps you would like your fortune told? Or a fruit shake? I sell both...” she explained, presenting her blender in full view on the table next to the one with the crystal ball.
“Wow.
Are you like...psychic or somethin’?”
“Well, this is a psychic
fair,” replied the woman simply. “Although
--- thank goodness for me --- it’s not just psychics.
They really should be more explicit of that in the paper,” she said,
batting said paper with her hand.
She was in fact, right.
Game booths lined the venue, but even more so a prevalent theme of the
supernatural had popped up in the likes of “The Werewolf’s Lair” (maze)
and “The Mummy’s Revenge” (a maze with a chili dog stand next to it) and
“The Creature from the Black Lagoon’s Cove” (halibut stand) Wildcat
pricked his nose up into the air.
He remembered how mummies smelled and he
was still trying to forget. Yuck.
* * *
“Wow, they have a roller
coaster...” said Kit in surprise, as he ran over to the fence.
Looking at the cheesy green dragon motif on the small carts and the
passengers (mostly small children), and last but certainly least the small
height of the coaster, which couldn’t have been much taller than Baloo, his
excitement evaporated. “Oh,” he
said.
“Hey, now that’s the kind of
roller coaster that’s more Baloo’s style...” commented Baloo.
Kit, disappointed and annoyed, leaned on the fence and after getting over
the suckiness of the first sight, surmised the
rest of the fair. It didn’t look
too bad. The Halloween theme blended
perfectly with the psychic motif.
Una, taking careful measurements
of Wildcat’s palm, forehead and eardrum, carefully consulted her cards.
“You will have a very
interesting year,” she said. “Do
you do a lot of travel?”
“We went to Thembria once!”
Molly piped in.
Una laughed.
“Well, that must have been fun...” she said.
“It was!” said Molly.
“Except for the prison...we were gonna stay there for two hundred
years.”
“Or maybe even life,”
Wildcat added. “We would have
missed ‘Danger Woman’ for sure!”
Una laughed
nervously. “What an active
imagination...imagine that! A Thembrian prison, ha ha!”
Molly stood there unresponsive, happily oblivious to Una’s
incredulousness.
“But back to you, my friend.
Your fortune seems to be directed very much by strong forces from
various parts of the world. It is
mooost interesting. Hmm.” she
said, continuing to study her subject. “You
will meet a dark force soon. But it
will be a force that you will tower over. His
force will be hot like the desert wind and fierce like the crying of baby
eagles. Hmm.”
After this she told Wildcat where
he could find a good hot dog stand.
“Wow, she really iiiis
psychic!” said Wildcat when they finally arrived at one.
Molly didn’t care; she was too busy staring at her future lunch being
prepared.
Kit decided he was going to do
some exploring so Baloo took it upon himself to look for the promised free eats.
But when he got to the sampling tables, he found that only a few had been
set up. One woman was offering free
bran muffins. Another carrot sticks.
He looked in disappointment at both.
“Well, never say I look a
gift horse in the mouth,” he said, digging in to the muffin.
“Hey, that’s actually kinda good...”
* * *
Kit, in the meantime, was
peacefully minding his own business, humming slightly and as he came to an
intersection of stands, he heard an all too familiar voice.
“Dunder!
Be careful with that!”
Coronal Dipwad, Kit
immediately thought.
“How many times! Do I have to
tell you to you to pay attention!!”
“Sorry, colonel...”
“Now, I’m going to take our
guest to the speakers forum, where she will maa-arrvel the crowd in the name of
the Glorious People’s Republic! You
will patrol the grounds and keep on the lookout for suspicious characters...And
no dawdling!” he said, practically shouting Dunder’s head off.
Poor Dunder, thought Kit,
cringing.
When Kit was sure Spigot was
both out of sight and earshot (luckily the place was filled with people taller
than the colonel) he went up to say a friendly hello to Dunder.
“Kit!”
“Dunder...I haven’t seen you
in a while,” Kit said grinning.
“Yeah.
Well...every time we meet the colonel winds up shooting at you...”
“Or trying to anyway...
So, are you here on leave?”
“Nah.
We only get leave when we’re extra special good.
I’ve never gotten leave, actually...” Dunder said, thoughtfully.
“But I have to be on the lookout for...ya know, thugs and stuff,” he
said.
“In other words, Spigot’s
paranoid over something again. What
is it this time, a silver noseplug?”
“Nah.
It’s not a what. It’s a
who.”
“Who?”
“What?”
“Who?”
“Oh, I can’t say who.”
“Why?”
“Can’t.
Not until Iliana makes her speech...” Dunder said, clapping his hands
over his mouth immediately and let out a self-reproaching gasp.
“Um, don’t worry...I won’t
say anything?”
“Good...please...the colonel would feed me to killer whales!” Kit smiled, but then reconsidered the remark as having been meant literally.
* * *
Baloo spied the hot dog stand just
in time!
His stomach was growling, and he
didn’t take any chances in offending one of his best friends.
“Hi, Baloo!” squeaked Molly.
“Well, howdy pumpkin,” he
said, handing money over for a chilidog.
“Baloo, we saw llamas!”
“Ya did??” he said, gesturing
for more mustard.
“Uh huh.
And that lady said that Wildcat has special dest’ny.”
“Well, I’m sure she’s
right... And the Sea Duck would agree with me...” he said, taking out a bite.
They walked along the promenade.
“Baloo, can we go in one of the
mazes??”
“Don’t see why not...just
lemme finish this first...”
“Hey, do...ya wanna see the
giant caterpillars?!” said Wildcat, as Baloo scratched his head.
“I mean...llamas?” he said, correcting himself.
Molly giggled.
“Sure...” replied Baloo, who
was really more interested in his meal. And
they better have more free food, later, he thought.
As they were approaching her, Una
recognized him before he even turned around.
“So then I was telling Kit that
Becky...” He stopped, glancing at her, a smile of recognition.
“Well, I’ll be darned!” he exclaimed.
“Grrrrreeeeat Llama!” said Una
standing up, and coming over to embrace him.
Taking her hands, he said, “I shoulda known
you’d pop up here...ya made the trip all the way to
“I have been traveling for years
now,” she said in the
“You know her?” asked Wildcat.
“Yeah, but it’s a...long
story,” said Baloo, rubbing his neck. “I’ll tell ya about it sometime.”
“Great Llama, I see I have
already met your acquaintances.”
“Oh yeah...this is Molly.”
“Hi!” Molly chirped.
“And...”
“Wildcat.” she said.
“Yes, I did a very interesting reading for him.
Much in his future. Much
excitement. Much passion.
But you? Would you like me to
consult the stars as to what course you are bound towards according to their
alignment??”
“Oh, I don’t know...”
said Baloo, sounding embarrassed.
“The last time you saw me I wound up running around and almost being
run down in my plane and—!”
Molly and Wildcat exchanged a look
of “huh?”
“Well, that was not my
fault. It was all a matter of
your...”
“I know.
My destiny.”
“Which I was very much correct
about.”
He sighed.
“Okay, okay...”
Una folded her tarot deck and had
him cut the deck. After having him
choose cards, she laid them out on table linen in the correct arrangement.
She studied the cards, revealing bit by bit that
Baloo would “seek out a new set of alliances soon” and that “the rise of
the storm would generate much in the way of breaking down shields put up long
ago.” and “a sword of ice would soon push its way into his heart...But, she
added, it would melt with the conflagration of a thousand phoenixes all chiming
together for the release of a single spring of hope...”
Baloo gulped. “Uh...oh.”
“Well, the cards are sometimes
very vague. But there is so much
change in store for you over the next year I cannot accurately predict one
single event...” she said, in a tone of some amazement.
(all for show, he bet) “Also,
the Fool card is predominant for your near future.
It means something foolish. Perhaps
something you will do, but I also see someone you know.
Someone from your past. Have
you had recent visits from old acquaintances, perhaps?
But enough of the tarot’s mysteries.
How about we try your palms next, yes?”
Baloo extended his hand.
Una, whose eyes widened immediately and didn’t say anything, but
instead gasped, illicited a response from Baloo,
who said “What? What do you
see?!”
Una reached for a tissue from
underneath her table and wiped Baloo’s palm clean.
“Oh...” he said, and blushed.
She studied it intently for a few minutes.
“Hmmm...your loveline seems to
indicate grrreeeat fortune...”
“Aw, get outta here.” he said,
laughing it off, then pausing. “How
great?” he added.
“Well, it is not exactly clear.
You are definitely on the track to meet the woman of your dreams.”
Baloo let out a very loud laugh.
That could be half of
“I see a passionate
romance...but at the same time complication...I see...a surge of romantic energy
in your near future.”
“Lady, I don’t buy it, but
I sure like what you’re sellin’...”
“Believe or do not believe.
You will see soon enough.” said Una somewhat mysteriously.
“Perhaaaaaps...but no, I should not meddle in such affairs,” she
said. “Unless...” she looked left and right, making sure they weren’t
being watched. Going into the wooden
wagon, with its main hatch down and a tarpaulin extending outwards from its
side, and supported by poles, she rummaged around until she found what she was
looking for. She came out with a
dark black, almost blue looking antique bottle.
“Baloo, can we go in the maze
now?” asked Molly.
“Uh, how about you two go ahead
and I’ll catch up,” he said, figuring it would take them a while for them to
be in line anyway.
“Okay!”
Molly rushed off with Wildcat’s hand in tow.
“This ancient potion...” she
said “was kept by the most sacred sisters of a covenant hundreds of years
past. Handed down generation to
generation. I thought of it as I was reading your aura... I was thinking that
perhaps you could use a dash of something extra to...how do you say...kickstart
your love life.”
“A love potion?
Is that what you’re telling me that thing is??”
“Shh!” she seriously intoned.
“This is not something I offer every yokel that passes my way...”
she insisted. “But since I know
you capable of great deeds, and you fulfilled such a rigorous task...I thought
you perhaps were worthy of its magical touch.”
“I guess it couldn’t hurt to
try.”
Una unscrewed the lid from the jar
and took a thin glass tool from the leather pouch in which she kept the bottle.
Taking it carefully in her hands, she scraped the side ever so carefully,
and brought only a gleaming trace of the liquid out over to another bottle,
filled with different assorted oils. Dripping
the minute amount into the diluted solution, she carefully wiped the glass
pestal against the side and swished it around so all of the solution would be
diluted as much as possible. After
wiping the glass on the vial, she quickly screwed back the lid on the antique,
and put it and the glass piece back in the pouch.
“Now,” she said.
“Hold very still.” And
she put the top of the perfume bottle back on and sprayed him with a heavy
scent, a mixture of flowers and old shoes. Baloo
coughed momentarily.
“Now what?” he said, sticking
his tongue out in a gasp, getting clear of the fumes.
“Now you wait...the right person
should come along and when they do the potion will simply...amplify their
attraction. It’s...just how it
works.”
He swallowed and eyed her warily.
“So you’re, uh, not gonna…?”
Una laughed, very loudly in fact.
“Oh, my, no.
As a descendant of the ancient order I am immune to any such effects.”
she explained, then after a pause said, smiling widely: “Now, would you like a
fruit shake??”
“Would I??” Baloo
exclaimed, with more enthusiasm for that than when she was talking about a
possible outpouring in the romance department.
“Seventy-five cents.”
Baloo looked somewhat shocked and
abashed.
“Air taxis are not cheap,
you know,” she said in explanation. Sighing,
he laid out the money.
Taking any number of fruits from
the table and turning on her portable generator, Una churned in a couple of
items before remembering that she had left the pineapple in her makeshift wagon.
(from the looks of it, rented)
It was at this moment that
Baloo’s attention turned back to the pouch.
“Just a minute...I have to cut it up...now where
did I put my good knives?” Una yelled from inside.
Oh,
what the heck? he thought. This
moment would later be relived by him in slow motion:
the taking the bottle out of the dark pouch, taking off the stopper,
sticking his finger around in the bottle until it was covered in a blue-green
smudge, and then, spreading it under and around his neck and shoulders.
It was greasy but didn’t smell nearly as obtrusive as the first spray
had. Musta
been all that other extra junk, he thought.
And then quickly he put everything back before Una came out.
The perfect crime! And what
did it matter? It was probably just
some old cologne anyway. Just a
little dab for good luck...heck, every little bit helped, and Una wouldn’t
give him something dangerous... I mean, that whole Great Llama thing worked out,
and now, he wasn’t even being asked to do anything!
He sipped on the shake in
satisfaction and bid Una good-bye. The
old woman took the pouch, completely unaware of his actions.
Baloo looked around for his friends.
* * *
Kit was looking at him funny,
Baloo noticed.
“Uh, Papa Bear?”
“Yo, kid, you ready to hit that
corn dog stand? I—what is it?” Kit
simply pointed for Baloo to look behind him.
Two teenage girls were standing there, looking awkward.
One shoved the other one and they whispered into each others’ ears.
“Uh, friends of yours?” Kit
ventured. “They were trailing you
from down at the end by Una’s.”
Baloo looked behind him once more,
with a clueless wonderment on his face.
The two girls, who couldn’t yet be out of high school, stared at him
wordlessly. After a solid minute or
so of silence had passed, Baloo coughed.
“Ohmigod, you say something.”
“Ohmigod, no you!”
“Uh, do you gals need directions
or somethin’?”
In response, one of the girls let
out a loud, piercing scream and fell over backwards.
“Oh great, she’s fainted.
Again.” Baloo helped the
remaining girl haul the other one up. “Geez,
you’re so strong, mister. I
bet you lift weights. Do you work
out?” She looked dreamily into the
distance. She had pretty brown hair
worn in a ponytail and wore a blue and white dress with short sleeves.
“Uh, well, I am a cargo pilot…”
“A cargo pilot!
Wow, that is so…neat! I
bet you have to be really brave.”
To this, Kit arched an eyebrow,
and wondered if it wasn’t the standing girl that wasn’t in need of medical
aid.
“Oh, well, I guess,” Baloo
said, blushing fiercely.
“You do?
Hey!” The girl dropped her unconscious friend in a sudden fit of
forgetfulness. “My name is Sheena.
Boy, I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re dreamy.”
“Y-ya do?” Baloo asked,
backing away as she moved closer, her hands closed into a fist she held down as
she moved forward, batting her eyes.
“You do?” Kit asked
with even more surprise.
“I’m sure Thea would agree
with me if she were awake. Gosh,”
she said as the other girl got up. “Who’s
this? Your…son?
You’re married? You don’t
look old enough to have gotten married yet.”
“Mommy?
Why are the weasels wearing plaid? And
why are they playing the bagpipes?” her confused friend asked, with a rather
dazed expression.
“Uh, maybe you should get her to a doctor,”
Baloo suggested nervously. “In
fact, I’m sure you got to get a move on, bein’ real busy an’ all.
C’mon Kit, don’t wanna keep the missus waiting, you know how she
worries so…” He grinned theatrically to both girls, who looked disappointed
as he and Kit walked away together. Kit
just let his jaw drop as he was led. When
they were far enough not to be heard, Kit asked:
“What was that about?!”
“Oh, uh, nothin’,” Baloo
replied unconvincingly.
“Okay, so some randomly crazy
girls were following you? Don’t
you think that’s sort of suspicious? Hey,
maybe they were pickpockets! Check
your wallet!”
Baloo did so.
“Everything’s here,” he said.
“Well, maybe they were going to
rob you, and decided not to when they saw me.”
“Hey,” Baloo said sounding
rather hurt, “Didja ever consider
the idea they mighta really liked ol’ Baloo?
It’s not every day they meet a cargo pilot with ruggedly
handsome features…” His voice
had taken on its absurdly egotistical tone.
“Riiiiiight.
And you don’t look old enough to get married.
Why, you look like you’re not a day outta high school!”
“Ha ha.
Where’re Wildcat and Molly?”
“They went inside the maze
already. Wildcat said something
about wanting the mummy’s autograph.”
“Oh.
Well I guess we’ll just wait for ‘em then.” A small voice made an
“ahem” noise at his side. Standing
next to him was a demure young cat with tan fur, yellow eyes, and exotic looking
hair. She was dressed in a navy blue
business suit.
“My name is Mirage,” she
introduced herself, “and I was just about to have dinner alone, when I saw you
standing across the crowds. And I
thought, that bear bears introducing myself to, a huhuhuh.”
She laughed rigidly with a stoic, dry voice that came across as a little
cold. Baloo was beginning to think
that perhaps he shouldn’t have come to the fair today after all.
“Oh uh, that’s nice.
I always say, a stranger’s just a friend you haven’t met.
Uh, I’d like you to meet my son, Kit.” He shoved Kit forward.
Kit extended an unenthusiastic
hand forward as he dully stated, “Pleased to meetcha.”
“Oh, how adorable!” she said
with widened eyed surprise that didn’t look all that convincing to Kit.
“I take it you’re a single parent?
I mean, he is adopted, right?
Doesn’t look much like you, does he, ahuhuhuh.”
She laughed it off with a dry chuckle and patted her hand on the air.
Kit looked offended. Baloo
looked simply caught off guard.
“Uh…gee…heh.
Where is Molly and Wildcat, anyway?”
“Maybe they went to find the
missus!” Kit piped up with newfound, yet with mocking, glee.
“You know how she gets!” Baloo
stuffed a hand over Kit’s mouth and smiled nervously and squinted.
“Heh heh, yeah Kit, I sure do.
Let’s get out of here before she finds herself in a real mess of
trouble!”
“That would be bad, Papa
Bear,” Kit agreed.
“I hate to cut this short, but
me and my son, we have to really get goin’.”
“Oh.
I see. So that’s it.
You’re just going to walk away and out of my life, forever!”
“Uh, that was the plan…”
“Well, no one messes with
Mirage’s heart, pal!” Lightning
began to cackle around her fingers. “If
I can manage to undo entire universal boundaries and topple kingdoms, bringing
you down would be a piece of falafel!” The
intense, burning anger then dropped out of her eyes to be replaced by dreamy
contentment. “Oh but how could I
ever be angry with you? I’ll just
catch up to you later, my big banana boat of a bear.”
She lightly touched his nose with a finger and then snapped her fingers
together, and in one second a blue wreath of smoke surrounded her and compounded
upon itself, accompanied by a loud clap of thunder.
Baloo screamed the instant it
happened. He and Kit both looked at
the spot she had been standing in, in shock.
Their pupils dilated and their jaws dropped.
Baloo was suddenly horrified.
“Oh man, what did I do…I bet
Una did this to get even with me for messin’ with her mojo!”
“WHAT?
Baloo, tell me you didn’t!”
“Well she had this stuff for
getting yer old Papa Bear some…well, never you mind, but now I think,” he
gulped, “I better get back there!”
The two raced across the Psychic
Fair as tarot readers and palmists did their work.
By the time they reached Una’s stand, it was only occupied by a goat.
“I guess she left to do other
stuff,” Kit said, and groaned. “Baloo,
what was it you took?”
“Just some…stuff.”
“After all the times you told me
not to just take “stuff”, you go ahead and take something someone gave you
without even knowing what it would do!” Kit
was shocked.
“Hey, I don’t need this, I
took a love potion and now--!” He clomped his mouth shut and covered it with
his hands.
“You…did…what?”
“Aw, I thought it was just some
old cologne! If I’d known I
wouldn’t put that much on!”
“Did you try washing it off?”
Baloo blinked at Kit’s question.
“Kit, you’re a genius!”
“This is what I keep hearing…”
“Well c’mon, don’t just
stand there, I got a potion to get rid of!”
“Okay.
I think I saw a water fountain…over…there.”
Kit blinked.
Kit blinked again.
“Uh…Baloo?”
“Yeah, kid?”
“Don’t look behind you.
When I give the word, just run.”
“Aw, whaddya mean?
Kid, I don’t got time for games. Let’s
just go before all heck turns loose.” Baloo
turned around and didn’t take more than a step.
His expression dropped. Standing
there, filling up the walkway were a crowd of women, of all ages, all
species,some of them psychics that had abandoned their stands.
Kit sighed.
“He never listens when I tell him not to look behind him…”
The audience of women stood there,
enraptured. All of them looked
expectant and waited upon even the most infinitesimal of gestures from Baloo.
“There he is!” a fat woman shouted, gawking at him.
Soon after, a little under a hundred women started shrieking and Baloo
turned around…and ran. After the
sound of his screaming died off in the distance, and a dust cloud followed the
women chasing him, Kit got up and dusted himself off.
Time to find Una, he thought.
* * *
“I can’t even tell you the
jetlag I’m experiencing this week!”
“At least you didn’t have to
deal with ze midget dictator,” Iliana replied.
She spoke with a slight Eurapanese accent that some mistook for French.
“Who, Napoleon?
I didn’t know he was here. I
would have dressed better.”
“No, Mirage.
I mean that plumbing fixated little dodo who runs around like a chicken
going to ze chopping block. It eez
enough to drive one mad.”
“You think that’s bad?
I saw this hunk of bear, and I mean hunk, but it didn’t go anywhere.
I’m going to try to meet up with him later for a late supper and get a
moment alone. Uh!
It’s so frustrating. Why do
men have to play so hard to get?”
“Ah, I am surprised.
Were you not chasing after magical artifacts to help you rid yourself
of…oh what iz heez name, I never remember.”
“Aladdin.
Oh, but who cares about that little nimrod?
This universe has proved more distracting than I’d anticipated.”
“Well I am ‘appy for you if you ‘ave found a
man worthy of your attentions.” Iliana
turned back to her mirror. “As for
me, I am stuck ‘ere until I complete my own mission.
Locating ze Wandering One has been difficult.
Once I find ‘er I can leave zis universe.”
“Well I’m in no hurry.
But if he really is married…”
Electric charges gathered around her clenched fists.
“Oh do not be so overdramatic.
And try to keep your temper zis time!”
“Oh geez, you turn one little
village into a horrifying legion of leech sucking fish people and no one ever
let’s you forget it!”
“Innsmouth was hardly leetle.
And zat reminds me. Your old
boyfriend called on my mirror. ‘E
wants to get back together with you.”
“Cthulu?
That loser? Ugh, I don’t
think so. It’s bad enough when we
dated. We never did anything.
It was always ‘oh Mirage, let’s do an Armaggedon, you’ll enjoy
that, oh Mirage, let’s mess with some sailors and zap them into the slime
universe!’ It was never ‘Mirage,
you look so dashing in that outfit…let’s go out tonight!
I do so love that scent you’re wearing.’
Men!” she sniffed. “If he
wants me he’ll have to stop staying at home all the time, and you know
that’ll never happen!”
“With ees breath?”
They both laughed. “Oh
Mirage, I ‘ave so enjoyed my time with you here, zo.
But…oh, zey want me to speak at ze conference and accept some key or
somesing.”
“Well, I better be off, too.
Now give your sister a hug. Ah!”
she said as they embraced. “It
has been too long, indeed.” Mirage
zapped herself away in a portal that zipped itself back up after she disappeared
and Iliana left her tent. Today was,
she felt, going to be momentous.
Call it a feeling.
* * *
The crowd was gathered and the
stage was set. Dunder stood by while
Spigot paced nervously. His
apprehension disappeared with the sight of Lady Iliana, who had insisted on
walking around without an escort once they reached the fair.
“Lady Ilia-a-a-ana!
It’s a pleasure!” Spigot
made to kiss the hand he’d taken but she snatched it away so he kissed only
the air.
“Could you direct me to where I
should be zitting, Colonel?”
“Of course!
Dunder, show her to her seat!”
“Right away, sir.”
Dunder took her hand and she, with a bored detachment sat and put a hand
to her temple. Dunder smiled
nervously at her. She smiled meekly
back.
“Is everything ready?” Spigot
asked the
“Yes, yes,” he stated.
“Just have a seat over there. Ahem.
Attenion,
“For years our two nations have
disagreed over many szings. I am
here to say that I predict a great deal of cooperation in ze future, as well
as…hmm. Odd.
I see a medley of wings and potatoes.”
“We’re having fried chicken at
the banquet later! Isn’t she
amazing, folks!”
“Yes, well as I was saying, ze future is full of bright things ahead for our two countries, provided we each work hard in attaining zat friendship. I welcome you all to the first International Psychic Friends Festival! Rates differ per psychic and we on ze psychic committee are not liable for unwarranted or incorrect readings. Now that has been said, everyone enjoy!” As she finished her speech, the crowd cheered once more.
The mayor and the host who had introduced her, a brown dog who sounded remarkably like the Thembrian game show host in charge of “This Was Your Life”, approached with a traditional key to the city. Photos were taken and the buffet table was set up for whoever wanted dinner.
* * *
Rebecca was sitting at her desk,
crunching figures, when a call came in. Sighing
heavily, she picked up the receiver, surprised to hear Baloo panting on the end
of the line with bits of her name strewn in between breaths. At
first she was shocked, then her expression quickly deflated into one of boredom.
“Hello, Baloo.
Very funny.”
“B-Becky!
Ya gotta help me! They’re
after me!” He sounded desperate
and scared.
“Oh my goodness, what is it?”
she asked, suddenly alarmed. “Air
pirates? Mafia goons?
You didn’t get the Thembrians mad at you again, did you?”
“Well, probably, but that really
isn’t the issue right now. I’m
at a pay phone and I need to get to the harbor, quick!”
“Why?
Baloo, what’s going on?”
“You won’t believe me if I
tell you.”
“Baloo, I thought we were past
all this. We’re practically best
friends. Anything you tell me, I
will believe. It’s a sign of
ultimate trust in our friendship. Whatever
it is, I’m there to help!” She
drew in a breath, inspired by her own speech.
“I-I took a love potion and now
every woman in
Becky blinked.
“Oh, that’s hilarious. Let’s
play a practical joke on Becky because it’s my day off.
Well, I’m not laughing, mister! You
can walk home for all I care!”
“No, Becky, no, don’t hang up, I’m on the
other side of town, BECK-“ Click. “…y.”
He hung up the phone with a sigh. He’d
lost the crowd of women chasing him earlier, but a woman tiger with cheekily
flipped brown hair, pushing a baby stroller smiled at him furtively as she
passed, and then asked him for change.
“Uh, here ya go,” he said,
after fishing around his pocket.
“Wait, maybe I should give you
my phone…number…so I can pay you back someday.
Someday soon.”
Baloo stared, horrified, at the
mother and her infant, and then turned around and ran in the opposite direction,
screaming at the top of his lungs as if a mummy were chasing him.
“Was it something I said?” the tigress asked to herself.
MEANWHILE, BACK WITH KIT…
“Kit, crawl in the duct space,
I’m too big to fit. Kit, help me
dodge a bunch of crooks I’m trying to steal from.
Kit, I have no common sense and I drank a love potion, durrr.”
Kit paraphrased the many times that Baloo had said stupid things.
He was angry with Baloo, and mildly annoyed that Molly and Wildcat had
mysteriously disappeared.
“Why do you run everywhere so
perplexed, Little Alpaca?” Una’s gentle voice nudged him.
“You!
Oh, ma’am, Baloo took that stuff and rubbed it all over his fur and now
he’s somewhere out in the city being chased by all these, this crowd of women
and Baloo is so, so dumb! I’m
really sorry, but…you gotta help!” Kit
pleaded and his gestures indicated so as well as his voice.
“Oh, no!
This is terrible!”
“You’re telling me!”
“Admission rates aren’t as
high as they told me. How am I to
pay for the wagon space for only this much?”
Una looked displeased as she wrinkled a nose at the sign by the red and
white striped tent.
“Ma’am, Una, didn’t you hear
a thing I said? Baloo’s in
trouble, and it’s all because of that goop!”
“You worry too much, Little One.
You should be more like your friends over yonder.”
Kit saw Wildcat and Molly approach.
“Kit!” Wildcat exclaimed.
“I saw the dart booth and I threw them all and won a free necktie!”
Wildcat held up his blue and yellow striped prize.
“Wildcat, you don’t even wear
ties,” Kit arched an eyebrow.
“But I have a marble
collection,” Wildcat answered him, laughing in a secretive way, indicating
that he was very pleased and had every reason to be with his win.
“Uh…okay. Never
mind. We need to find Baloo!
He’s in trouble! He took
this love potion and half of
“That’s silly!” Wildcat
said. “Baloo can’t run that
fast! His legs
aren’t long enough!”
“Yeah, that’s silly!” Molly
echoed.
“This from the girl that said
ducks flew her to
“Uh huh!” Molly cheerfully replied.
“Una, you’ve got to
help!”
“I will, Little One, I will.
I will look after your friends while you go look for your Great Llama.
All he needs is a bath…and a lesson not to mess with those powerful
forces he took so for granted,” she concluded dramatically. “Now, who wants
a fruit shake?” she asked, kneeling down to encourage Molly.
“Yay!” said Molly.
“Yeah, yay,” Kit said dully as he turned
around. Maybe Baloo was already
finding a way back home. He had to
turn around at some point to get back to the docks.
Kit decided to go back to Higher for Hire and see what turned up.
Maybe Miz Cunningham had heard from him.
BACK AT THE RANCH…
“Miz Cunningham, it’s me Kit,
have you seen Baloo?”
“No,” she answered annoyed.
“But if you see him you can tell him I’m not amused!”
“Huh? Whaddya mean?”
“He called here earlier with
some cockamamie story about how a horde of loooove-struck women just
couldn’t leave him alone. Ha!
Like that would ever happen!”
“Did he say where he was
headed?”
“To go take a dive off a short
pier, I hope.”
“You may get your wish sooner
than you think…”
“Kit, is Molly with you?
I want to tell her---!"
“Sorry Miz Cunningham, she’s
with Wildcat. I gotta run!”
Kit hung up the phone. Rebecca
stood there feeling very much alone.
“No, never mind me, I’ll be
fine. Hmmph.”
She sat down at her desk and tapped a pen.
“I hope for Kit’s sake, he never takes love advice from that
bear. Love potion!
Women chasing him! HA!”
Rebecca turned on the radio for some much needed distraction.
Broadcast Sally was on the air.
“And that was ‘There’s a
Monkey on my Back and you’re Him’ by the Banana Boat Patrol, the newest
swingin’ hit from
Rebecca paused from her work.
“Nah,” she said shaking her head.
“Couldn’t be.”
* * *
Baloo peeked around a street
corner. No females in sight!
If he could just find a cab driver, he would be set.
Rebecca wouldn’t mind if he “borrowed” from the safe since it was
an emergency and all.
Suddenly he shivered and flinched
involuntarily. Spigot’s
unmistakable whine.
“Please, Lady Iliana, I don’t
understand why it was necessary to leave the fairgrounds!
I’m sure you will be perfectly content back where
“You are very much the
distrusting type, aren’t you?” she asked.
Baloo thought it funny she had an accent where other Thembrians didn’t.
And what a looker! He dodged
back behind into his alleyway. Shouldn’t
go peeking where she might see your incredible lookin’ face, he thought.
She might just not be able to help herself.
Then again…maybe with her it wouldn’t be so bad.
Maybe ol’ Baloo should just turn on the charm.
He smiled devilishly, thinking how he would brag to Louie and be able to
show her off in front of all the guys! And
boy, wouldn’t they be jealous! Woo,
boy!
“I have only your bee-e-est
interests at heart, my Lady. The
state only seeks to ensure your safe and heavily awaited return to Thembria.
Now, if we could just—!”
“Hey, hey, Spiggy, you’ve been
holdin’ out on me! Didn’t know
you had such lovely friends.” Baloo
bowed and tried to take Iliana’s hand in his.
She impulsively flinched but let him take it, at least for the meantime.
He blushed and smiled deliriously, bending
to kiss her hand.
“Baloo!
What are you doing
here? And take your hands off her!
She’s important state ambassador type…just hands off!”
Iliana took her hand away and Baloo wound up kissing the air.
“I am so pleased to be making your acquaintance,
Mistair Baloo,” she said. “But
it eez true. I am not ze state’s
business and have no time for…dilly-dallying.”
“Ya mean…ya don’t even wanna
hang around for a little while? I’m
a pilot! A cargo pilot!”
“Oh, that’s an impressive
pick-up line,” Spigot commented sarcastically, and rolled
his eyes.
“Indeed,” said Iliana.
“THERE you are!” Mirage’s
voice declared triumphantly. Baloo
swung around to see her floating towards him.
Floating?? She landed nearby.
Spigot had his back turned and when he did, all he saw was Mirage batting
her eyes.
“Sister!
Have you come to tell me of somesing important?” Iliana asked.
“No, no.
I’m here on a personal errand. Particularly
with you,” she said, nudging a finger into Baloo’s chest.
“You round, perfect hunk of bear. Why
don’t we take a stroll…go to a museum or perhaps the local coliseum.”
“I do not believe zey have one
here,” Iliana commented.
“Hmph!
I’m not surprised,” Spigot said.
“
“Oh, and I suppose you have one?” Baloo
demanded.
“As a matter of fact we have
several,” Spigot replied smugly. “We
sometimes find it amusing to have prisoners re-enact naval battles.
Except for the fact that the water freezes and they freeze inside it.
Makes for a nasty cleanup, but no one said learning about history
was easy.”
Baloo looked bewildered now.
“Ya know, every time I learn somethin’ new bout your country, it just
makes my head hurt.”
“That’s because no one
challenges the might! Of Thembria.”
“Mirage…are you sure you are
feeling alright?” Iliana asked.
“Oh, I’m just purrfect,
darling. You two run along and play.
I have to show this bear the universe.
And more.” Mirage
yanked on Baloo’s collar and brought him down to her eye level.
He stared at her, slightly scared.
“Yes, come,
Iliana.” Spigot said promptly.
“She must be under some kind of
magic that I am unaffected by,” Iliana said under her breath.
“Yes, Colonel. I have
some…zings to investigate back at ze fairgrounds.
I must bid you both adieu,”
she said, and curtsied.
“Ya sure ya don’t wanna stay?
Just a little?!” Baloo’s
voice grew more desperate. Spigot
threw him a satisfied smile and stuck his tongue out as they left.
“Now it’s just you and me.
Whatever will we do to fill the time?” Mirage asked.
“Uh, go get a burger?”
“Go get a burger…you really
are a meat and potatoes kinda guy.
Let’s go fill up that sexy stomach of yours.
Then afterwards we can have dessert.”
Baloo gulped as she led him to the nearby burger joint.
As they approached, Baloo’s fan club marched up
the street. Baloo faced them.
They stopped, awestruck.
“No.
Not again! YAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
Baloo ran in the opposite direction as the crowd of a hundred drooling
gals (and a male waiter who ran from the burger joint)
sped and practically ran over Mirage, leaving only a dustcloud for her to
cough on.
“Oh, no. No one lays a hand on the boyfriend of Mirage’s choosing! You little mortals better be prepared for my wrath and—!” Suddenly Mirage got clobbered from behind by a few delivery girls on bicycles, one of whom was carrying a large, long package that struck Mirage down and she was out like a light, barely able to hear Baloo’s screams as he disappeared down the street.
* * *
Baloo had been on the run for an
hour since seeing Mirage again. He
was exhausted, he was out of breath, and he was really wishing he’d had a
chance to get that burger. He
slumped down by a mailbox and jumped at the sound of his name.
“Aaah!” He looked up,
cringing, then opened his eyes again to find Plane Jane staring down at him.
“Well aren’t you a sight for
sore eyes!” she exclaimed. “C’mere,
you!”
“Oh, no!”
“Oh, yes!
Your old friend Janey needs some help that only you can give her…”
Baloo cringed. “Help me
move this box, wouldja? My back is
killing me!” The blonde hippo had
last been seen by him when she helped Baloo recover the lost Ruby Wings for
Princess Gwace..er…Grace. And then
eaten her words for it, as far as Baloo remembered.
“You’re…moving?” Baloo
asked, seeing the truck.
“Yep. Me
and my roommate Sam are moving in together and getting all my stuff out of this
rat hole has just been taking up all my time.
This weekend has just been a nightmare!”
“Yeah, I kinda know what you
mean,” Baloo agreed.
“Hey, have you met Sam?
Hey, Sammy, come on out here and meet an old friend of mine!”
Baloo huffed as he lugged the box
up onto the truck’s ramp. A lanky,
thin bearess with dirty blonde hair cut in a buzz cut, military style approached
Baloo. She was slightly muscular and
walked very confidently.
“Yo, glad ta meetcha!
Janey told me all bout’ you!” She
shook his hand. Real firm handshake,
that little girl had.
“Oh uh…you two are roommates,
huh?”
“Well, yeah.
Best friends you could say. I
know Janey in and out, like the back of my hand.”
“Oh…uh…that’s good,”
Baloo said. Slow thoughts began to
whirl in his head. Janey was never
the most feminine pilot he’d ever known. And
he had seen issues of Playbear in the back of her plane.
But he’d assumed those had belonged to a friend of hers.
Janey slapped her forehead.
“Sorry, Baloo. I know it
must come as a shock, seeing as your skull is thicker than a twin engine, but
Sammy is sort of my…”
“Uh, you don’t have to
explain, really. I mean, I don’t
have anything against it, I mean…uh…good luck.
And all.” Baloo blushed.
“Yeah, well, thanks.
I mean, we’re hoping that the neighborhood we’re moving to doesn’t
go all ape on us,” Sammy said. “We
don’t advertise, but we’re not exactly shy, either.”
“Yep!” Janey agreed.
“We’re even opening our own pottery and other artsy stuff import
store! I fly em in’ and then we
sell im’ to
“So where ya gals movin’
to?” Baloo asked.
“Ah, this great apartment
complex on the nice side of town. Has
its own waterfall and everythin’!” Jane answered.
Waterfall? The only apartment
in the city with a waterfall was Rebecca’s building and—!”
Baloo stopped. He’d have to
tell Rebecca about this, when he got a moment.
“Well it was nice meeting
you,” Sammy said. “But we gotta
get back to work. We’d like to
finish by sundown. Then maybe Janey
here can get to bed early.”
“What makes you think I want
to?” Jane said coyly, and slapped Sammy on the backside.
Baloo blushed red as when he got stung by a hornet years back and grinned
idiotically.
“I gotta go, see you gals
uh…later.” Baloo departed at
what for him was a brisk pace.
“Nice guy,” said Sammy.
“Did you see the way you made
him blush?” Jane burst out in
laughter.
“Me?
You’re the one! You’re
terrible!”
“C’mere, you.
Do you gotta permit for that thing?”
Jane asked as Sammy ran her hand along her gun rack.
* * *
Kit got to Higher for Hire and ran
in to find Rebecca slumped over her paperwork, tediously filling out form after
form.
“Is Baloo here?” he asked,
sounding tired, and frantic.
“No, Baloo is not here.
Nor do I care. I do not want
to see that bear until he offers me an apology for his rude behavior
earlier today. Hmph.
Incidentally Kit, you look terrible.”
“I’ve been trying to find
Baloo. Miz Cunningham, he did
something really stupid today!"
“Welcome to my world, Kit. Welcome to my world,” Rebecca said comfortingly
and offered him a consoling hug. Kit’s
eyes remained wide as he pondered things. She
broke off from him and began ranting again.
“I mean, out of all the selfish, immature things he’s done, now
he’s affecting you, too. I know he
has before and you’ve protected him, but I think it’s time for us to have a
talk with that bear and—!” Rebecca’s
speech was cut off by the sound of Baloo yelling at the top of his lungs and
then Baloo’s voice trailing off again. Kit
and Rebecca hurried outside.
They were just in time to see Baloo head for the dock which led to the furthest pier out, past Wildcat’s shed, adjacent to the Sea Duck’s pier.
“Hold it right there, mister!
I have a few words to say to you!”
Baloo cringed.
“Becky, I don’t have time, I
gotta take a bath!”
“Well, that’s usually true,
and while I commend you for actually wanting to smell presentable for once, I
have to say that you were really crude earlier.
I thought we’d gotten beyond these juvenile and irresponsible
pranks of yours. But now I can
see that I was wrong! Baloo, you
need to take a good look at what you’ve become and start teaching Kit how to
behave. How is he supposed to grow
up without you being a good role model for him?”
“Yeah, Baloo,” Kit
prodded. “You’re just setting
one bad example for me after another.”
Kit smiled with a wicked grin as Rebecca hugged him protectively.
“How is he supposed to just get over this with
you having him worry with you behaving the way you do?
You should be ashamed. You
owe it more to him and more to me to act decently, instead of being rash
and…and…”
“Impulsive?” asked Kit.
“Yes, impulsive, thank you Kit.
Impulsive! And another
thing…” But Baloo’s eyes were
taken off Rebecca as a crowd of women were wandering around, looking lost, and
some began to approach Higher for Hire.
“Uh, sorry Becky, but I gotta do
something before you chew me out anymore.”
Baloo ran away and jumped off the pier, sending a large splash outwards.
Rebecca blinked, having wholly unexpected that course of action.
One of the women mulling about approached her.
“Excuse me,” one asked.
“Have you seen a really, really handsome pilot lately?”
“Henh?
No, I haven’t. Get off of
my property, all of you! This is a
business!” she said angrily, taking a garbage can away from one very overeager
girl who was intent on finding something inside the can that once belonged to
the sweet hunky guy who she was chasing. “Unless
you are customers and need shipping done, I kindly ask you all to vacate the
premis—!”
“There he IS!” Several girls screamed and ran
down the pier. Baloo, soggy and
dripping, was climbing back up with a miserable expression on his face.
He looked up at the sky and mumbled. “Boy you really do like irony up
there, doncha?” With a panicked
expression he made ready to leap in again, when suddenly the women stopped,
looking confused.
“Where is he?
There was this really hunky guy!”
“Here!
Just a minute ago!”
“Where is he?
Did you see him, mister?” There
were several dozen more coming up the pier.
“Uh…he swam away.
Said he was goin’ to uh…find a nice place to go uh, kayaking.”
Baloo tried to smile convincingly.
“Quick, everyone, he can’t
have gotten far!” Several girls
jumped in and started swimming toward the horizon of the cliffs and still others
swam to opposite sides of the harbor. Still
others meandered away down the streets with disappointed looks on their faces,
including the male waiter Baloo was glad never caught up to him.
When he returned to the front of
the office doorway, Rebecca was tapping her foot and had her arms crossed.
“And just what was that all about?” she asked.
Baloo waited, looked forlornly
inexcusable, wiped his finger under his nose, and took a deep breath, and looked
sorry. “I made a big mistake today
and did something which I didn’t even think about and I’m real sorry.”
He twisted his cap. “I didn’t
even spend any time with Molly, she and Wildcat must be worried sick by
now…” Baloo was interrupted by
the sound of Molly and Wildcat laughing hysterically, walking up the way.
“Boy, Baloo, did you ever miss
out!” Wildcat raved. “The fair
was great!”
“I saw a giant caterpillar!”
Molly told her mother.
“You did?” Rebecca warmed up
at once and held Molly in a hug.
“Yup!
And I ate a hot dog, and Wildcat had three!
And then we went through all the mazes and I wasn’t scared at all, but
Wildcat asked the mummy for his autograph, and then we got to ride on the
caterpillars! And then I got my foot
stuck on a piece of gum but Wildcat got it all off, but it’s still kinda
sticky,” she said, wiggling her foot.
“That sounds great, pumpkin!”
Rebecca said cheerfully. “Now why
don’t you go inside with Wildcat? I’m
making spaghetti tonight and we’re all eating together.
Wildcat, would you see that she freshens up?”
“Sure thing, Miz Cunningham.
Hey, Molly, look, I’m a caterpillar!”
Wildcat stuck his fingers in the air and crouched down so Molly could
ride on his back.
“Ya! Ya!
Geedyup, caterpillar!” Molly
squealed with delight as they disappeared inside.
Rebecca turned back to deal with
Baloo. “Well, I hope you’ve
learned an important lesson today in manners.
It’s not nice to break promises, luckily for you Molly didn’t seem to
mind or I might be angrier. But,
you’ve seemed to have learned a lesson. I
just have one question…who were all those women looking for, really?”
“Uh…just some guy they saw at the Psychic Fair.
A celebrity, I think.” Baloo said, his eyes pleading with Kit for him
to keep his mouth shut.
“You didn’t happen to tell any
of these girls that you happened to be a celebrity, by any chance, did
you?” She stared him down accusingly.
“…Well…”
Baloo rubbed his neck.
“Ha!
I knew it! You know, one of
these days Baloo, you’re going to get yourself into a pickle and you’re
going to have it blow up in your face, all because you couldn’t control
yourself from trying to get attention! And
when it does, I want to be there so I can laugh (she laughed as she said this)
in your face. I’ll see you two
inside.” She left them alone as
twilight descended on the town. Kit
smiled up at him smugly.
“When did you turn into such a
mama’s boy?” Baloo said, looking like he’d just walked away from a fight
with a Thembrian: bitter and fed up. Kit
frowned at him and then ignored the comment, and the two bears went inside.
“Just be careful, Baloo.
Next time Broadcast Sally might be around.
Then you two would have to smooooch all night and, aaaah, Baloo!”
“Oooh, I’m gonna…”
“Baloo let go!
Aaah! Miz Cunningham, help!
Rebecca! Wildcat!
Aaah!”
As Kit’s cries for Baloo to not hold him upside
down faded into the night, Mirage looked around her, searching for that special
bear, before realizing the humiliation of what had befallen her.
“Ugh.
A simple love spell. That
bear is lucky I don’t pulverize him into plane grease,” she muttered,
shaking a fist.
“But you would not,” her
sister said, walking up behind her. “Because you know that no matter what we
do, zese mortals, zey are but fools.”
“That sounds familiar.
But you’re right I suppose. I
lost sight of what I came here for originally.”
“Which is?”
“Have you seen Shere
Khan? The man is a walking god.
Or maybe just part god, I’m betting.
I’ll have him in the palm of my hand by the end of the week,” she
informed Iliana and smiled a satisfied grin.
“Then I am ‘appy for you.
I however, must be on my way.” Iliana
said this right as Colonel Spigot ran to catch up with her.
“I…I…(pant pant) have been
trying to keep up (pant pant) didn’t want to…(pant) leave you
unprotected!”
“I very much appreciate all ze
help you ‘ave given me, Colonel. But
now is the time for us to part. I
will not be returning with you back to ze Thembrian capital.”
“What?
NO! Please, my Lady, please
don’t do this to me! The High
Marshall will turn me into killer whale chow!
I can’t be chow! I just got
a dental plan! Whatever those
“I am so sorry,” Iliana said,
extending a hand into the air, creating a ripple which became a gateway to
another dimension. “But the
Wandering One needs me, and I seek to apprentice myself to her.
I ‘ave much to learn.” Spigot
stood there dumbfounded and his jaw dropped as she stepped forward to disappear
forever. “Do not worry, leetle
shrieking man, I will be stopping to speak to ze High Marshall before I depart
and will explain you could not ‘ave helped it.
Au revoir.”
“Bye, sis,” Mirage said
casually.
She stepped through and the
gateway closed, seamlessly.
“But she…how did she!
How did the! And then poof!
I don’t understand!” Spigot whined and pounded a fist on the ground.
“Oh get up, you pathetic little
wart. Well, boys, I’d love to
stay, but I’ve got a tiger to hunt. Toodles.”
Mirage was suddenly surrounded by blue streaks of lightning and she then
vanished in a burst of light. Dunder
looked at Spigot and Spigot looked back at Dunder, both awestruck.
“Here, sir.
Let me help you.” Dunder
helped him to his feet. “Gee sir,
do ya think they’re from another planet? Or
do ya think—!"
“Dunder!” Spigot yelled.
“Are you daring to say that Iliana and her cohort were supernatural,
superpowered entities that just vanished into thin air?
Preposterous! If I ever hear
you speak of it again, I will consider it treason and the next thing you know
you’ll be forced ice skate barefoot, playing hockey with walrus turds for
pucks!”
“But sir, we do that every
month.”
“Just SILENCE, DUNDER!”
“Yes, sir.”
* * *
THE NEXT DAY…
Una was just getting everything
prepared for leaving. Her things
were mostly packed, and she was just putting the blender away when a shadow
crept over her.
“Hey.
Ya need any help?” Baloo asked good-naturedly.
“Ah, Great Llama.
No, I have assistance already, today.
But I am glad you have come to see me off.”
“Yeah, I sorta came ta…apologize
for…messin’ around with your mojo and all.”
“It is written.
What is written is done with and over.
So…have you learned anything
important from all this?” Her
eyebrows furrowed.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“And that is being?”
“Not to mess around with stuff
I’m not supposed to.”
“Very good.”
“Uh, Una.
There’s been something buggin’ me since yesterday.
Somethin’ bout the potion. Well,
it didn’t work on every woman I came ‘cross.”
“No?” Una asked, amused.
They were interrupted by a softly accented voice.
“I am finished with the
arrangements, my teacher. If you
will but allow me to—oh. I am so
sorry. I did not know we had ze
guest. Ah, it eez you.”
“Oh, uh, hi.”
Baloo was surprised to find her here.
“Yes, Una and I will be
traveling together from here on out.”
“She is to be my new pupil.”
“Pupil?
Hey…is that why the potion didn’t work on you?
It is, isn’t it?” Baloo smiled. Iliana
politely answered him.
“I do know many things about the
perceptions of reality and nature. Because
of this I knew that magic was at work when I saw you with my sistair.
I am happy, zo, zat everything has worked out for you, yes?”
“Well, yeah, I guess you could
say that, but…that still doesn’t explain one thing.”
“What is that, Great Llama?”
asked Una.
“Well, okay, that explains Illy
here, but…what about my friend Becky? She
was the only one female, female that counted that is, that wasn’t affected.
I mean, all those other gals it worked on, cept for her.
Why is that?”
“Hmm.
It could be your friend is knowing you too well, Great Llama.
But even then, with so much magic, there should have been some effect.
Unless…” She paused
dramatically while Baloo waited. “She
could have perceptions of magic but that is usually a very understanding person,
very patient who has that talent. Or…if
she were to have true feelings of love for you, feelings that were from her
heart, then no potion could affect and overpower the natural emotions of her
own.”
Baloo was silent at first, then
laughed. “Ha ha!
That’s a good one! Becky in
love with me! Aw, it’s probably
the first thing ya said. Becky’s
always been the smart one, she probably picked it up from a book
somewhere.”
“If you say so, it is probably
so, Great Llama,” Una said reverently. “Ah,
and who is this?” Kit walked up
just in time to rub it in Baloo’s face that he was running late, again. Baloo
gritted his teeth. Kit had been a
little bit cocky lately, and it was grating him somewhat.
Adolescence, here we come, he thought wearily.
“Well I’ll see ya.
C’mon, Kit.”
“A moment.
I can offer you a free reading, anything for the Little Alpaca.” Una
smiled warmly, and grasped Kit’s palm. Her
expression changed immediately.
“So tell me, what do you see?”
Kit asked eagerly.
“Nothing, nothing of
interest…”
“Oh, c’mon, tell me what you
see,” he said playfully, putting his head on his folded arms on the table,
kneeling on the ground.
“Let me arrange some cards.”
She did so intently. “Cut
the deck.” Kit did so.
Something strange was happening here, the patterns could not possibly be
right.
Distracted, she said “I
see...many things… many new people, you will be coming across many unpleasant
people at school.”
“That’s nothing new...”
“Do you play sports?”
“I like track...” he said,
hoping that group sports wasn’t going to be forced upon him in the near
future.
“Ah yes, well, you’ll do very
good in that this year. That’s all
the cards say, now shoo! Go on, now.
I must get ready to close...”
“...Okay,” said Kit.
“See around...” he said waving.
“Yes.
Around. See you!” she said,
customarily. She waited until Kit and Baloo had walked away and she was unable
to see them anymore.
Then she looked back to her cards,
and what she had written down about his astronomical signs.
This could not be happening. And
yet every feeling in her being told her that there was no other explanation.
“You know there are only a few
people that even know of the prophecy...” Iliana
said, from behind her.
“A lot more are going to find
out about it soon enough,” the old woman said.
“But enough talk. If I am
right, I will be paying young Kit Cloudkicker a visit sometime sooner than I
thought. I simply hope for his sake
he is ready for what is to come.”
Una got inside her wagon and urged the horse onto the road. When they were in a sufficiently deserted area, a gateway was made, and the wagon and its two passengers whisked themselves far, far away.
THE
END